can we just take a minute to thank all the bands whose concert tickets are cheap because they understand that most of us are broke teenagers that can’t even afford a pack of gum
when the teacher says “you have to be pretty stupid to get this question wrong” and the whole class laughs but i don’t understand it at all
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming